An
interpersonal conflict situation is often described as a situation in which one
or both persons in a relationship are having difficulties living or working
with one another. They are a fact of life, and may not necessarily be a bad
thing. Unfortunately, I had the hard luck of getting into a work-related
conflict during my 7 month stint.
Just
before I entered university, I was temping in XXbank as a Credit Control
Officer. Being one of the temps around, one of our duties involved having to
retrieve the voice mails and attend to the various requests of the customers. I
volunteered to start first. However, on the next day, when attempting to pass
over the duties to the next person, whom I shall call S, he totally ignored me
asking him to do the retrieving of the voice mail.
Initially,
I thought that he was still looking through the details of the previous call
with the client and I waited for him to be done with the details. However,
instead of turning to me after he was done, he proceeded on with the next call.
Totally exasperated, I raised my voice slightly as I could not speak too loud.
When he continued to ignore me, I actually swore at him and went back to my
seat. I ended up doing the retrieving of voice mails for the next few weeks
before someone relieved me.
People
adopt different ways of approaching a conflict. Some may choose to deny the
existence of a conflict, while some may go all out and blame the other person.
For my case, I even used anger towards the person.
In the
aftermath, I did manage to speak to a friend of his to start the duties going. Conflicts
can represent a crucial event in the course of a relationship. It can either
weaken or strengthen it. For my case, it weakened some, and strengthened some. I
became on better terms with S’s friend. However,
what set me off that day was S total lack of respect towards a fellow colleague.
He was not willing to take up the responsibility and to add insult to injury,
he chose to ignore that I was there. However, looking back on that issue, I
could have overlooked several factors. Workplace conflicts can arise due to
clash in personality or working styles. In my opinion, it was a clash of
working styles as I have a tendency to put my full effort in doing things,
while S was known for his laidback attitude. Perhaps there is another way to go
about this?
5 comments:
Hello Terence. I appreciate how you are able to attribute the problem to your own working style as compared to S' as this is too often, a reason for workplace conflicts. It is similar to even group projects now in NUS where usually one takes up the initiative to lead while the rest may follow. Whenever the followers are not proactive enough, this usually gets misinterpreted and translated into being 'slack' etc (but they could genuinely be for some).
At the point of conflict, it is definite that you would get upset with S as he might have denied your presence and the task given. Further with your status (and probably S') as temp staff(s), it would be hard for you to 'delegate' the task to him like a boss would do to a subordinate. I would think S is in the wrong to not acknowledge (the least he could have done even if he doesn't want to assume responsibility for the role).
Personally, I wouldn't think that there could have been an alternative solution other than to seek help, which you have done with S' friend. Nevertheless, I hope things didn't turn out too ugly between you and S.
Hopefully such cases would never have to happen to you or me again! Cheers!
Hi Terrence
I feel your frustration, and it was mainly caused by the inaction of others. You see, if S really has no intention to take over your duty in retrieving those voice mails, the easiest way to go about doing it is to pretend to be busy and all. The worse thing that can happen from this situation is for you to be infuriated, because not only did they succeed in shunning their responsibility, they also managed to spoil your day.
May I ask if you have attempted to speak to your direct supervisor regarding S not being responsible? If you had, and no actions were taken, then I would say probably XXbank is not the ideal workplace for you. If S is known to have such attitude, you need not succumb to him. The first thing to do when handling such situations is to remain calm and compose. Another way around it might be to let it cool off for the moment, and to ‘pester’ him every hourly to get him to acknowledge the handing over of work. It is just a suggestion, might work if you are persistent enough? Offer him something that he cannot reject. Good luck for any future conflict management Terence!
Cheers
Chris
Hey Terence!
I understand how you feel in such a situation. It is really frustrating to have a colleague act in such a manner. I think we've all encountered people who refuse to take responsibility. What's worse is that aside from not wanting to do what he was paid to do, S even treated you with disrespect although you were just handing over the job to him. Coupled with a quiet environment where you were somewhat unable to explain the situation to him clearly, i'm guessing it, just be such a infuriating encounter for you.
I noticed you mentioned that finally you decided to swear at him before giving up. Not very nice ah. Haha no but seriously, I think that the outcome might have been very different. He could have responded very aggressively to your swearing and the situation would have been more tense. In a conflict situation, I think it is important to avoid a power struggle. Try not to engage in, much less initiate, a shouting or swearing match. When everyone is calm, they would be better ready to accept any reasoning you have than if they had just been sworn at.
Leon
Why am I called. :School bag:.???
Terence, i applaud your move to continue doing the work even though it was not your share of it. We can all relate to and understand the kind of frustration that one gets when being ignored - and hence the swearing.
Perhaps S did act inappropriately when he ignored your requests. I too would be infuriated by such behaviour. But as Candice said, it would be difficult for you to be ordering people around telling them what to do (even if it was their job to do so). So why not try an alternative method? If I were in your shoes, i would have done it a la Godfather style : an offer you can't refuse...
I would do exactly what you did - approach S and tell him that he needs to replace me in retrieving the voicemail.
If S were to ignore me, i would then write an email (using the XXbank address) to him, telling him (nicely) that he is next in line for the duty. In the event that I am questioned by my superior, why i had not properly passed on the duty to another staff member, I would still have the email to explain myself.
By doing such an act, my working relations with S would definitely turn sour. That's something I would have to consider though.
Having said that - at least I did stood up for my rights, and not been victimized just because I am a "temp staff".
"It's not personal, It's strictly business".
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